"They gave me a metal,
they called me a hero.
But it was all so easy,
the way paint curls in a fire...
Once you jump... then you fall...

falling's the easiest bit, all the decisions are made, everything's neat and tidy as your robes unfurl in the wind, as your feet wheel, reach, catch... wishing they kept wheeling, kept falling, but it's over and when you hit-

well you wish you never stopped falling. Instinct pulls you into the fetal position, regardless of your little brother tucked close to your chest, you roll, there is no pain, just fear, you have just compressed the one you tried to save as refelx tries to save what's left of you, you ankles don't hurt, though their broken, your feet still seem steady though you know you won't be able to get up. The only thing you can feel is the bruise on your sternum where you caught his head on your chest,

at this point it's all over, all you can do is call for help, but silence fills your lungs, ribs broken, you cry out and no sound escapes, and just just want to die, you can't help him anymore, and he's limp in your arms, your tangled cut fingers propping up his head, you fall back flat, in desperation, you can't move, each breath paralyzes you in agony, and you slip deeper and deeper into... your O2 saturation is reaching a critical low, you brain is no longer functioning as a tool, just pain center, your eyes cease to function properly, the inability to breath forces you onto your back, you discard the dead weigh in your hands, no longer capable of helping him, no longer capable of doing anything but feebly aspirating blood, holding on to your life through instinct alone, self preservation forces you to keep trying to breath, you pushing air like breathing through a coffee stirrer, agony pours in with every breath, you could be dead in minutes, or hours depending on how long you force your self to breath, or try to breath... but then he cries out, not loud, but loud enough."


-excerpt from a story i was writing
-not completely sure how readable this will be

sometimes you just feel like jumping. I have, and i will again, i just don't know when.